INTRODUCING...SPORTY SPICE!

Sporty was a potential picture star in the distant future. The producers wanted to rape her for her screen test----she said, "No way!"

So tall and pale with black hair, she attended auditions, was offered a part every time, she said "No" every time.

Finally, it was announced everywhere that the exotic girl from Ohio would play the Anti-Christ. She prepared for her part by rolling dice in a darkened room, muttering into telephones, and posing for unearthly beautiful photographs.

And when I saw the movie, Sporty Spice was more perfect than anything else I had ever seen. Outside the theater, the city was strange and new, and previously meaningless events now held new significance.