INTRODUCING...SPORTY SPICE!

Sporty was a potential picture star in the distant future. The producers wanted to rape her for her screen test----she said, "No way!"

So tall and pale with black hair, she attended auditions, was offered a part every time, she said "No" every time.

Finally, it was announced everywhere that the exotic girl from Ohio would play the Anti-Christ. She prepared for her part by rolling dice in a darkened room, muttering into telephones, and posing for unearthly beautiful photographs.

And when I saw the movie, Sporty Spice was more perfect than anything else I had ever seen. Outside the theater, the city was strange and new, and previously meaningless events now held new significance.

SPICE GIRLS IN LOVE!

In a random time and place, she never expected anything except maybe a glass of water. Across the room she spots a slightly big head and a profile she imagines she'd never get tired of studying, maybe worshipping, and unbelievably thirty seconds later she's talking to this creature, a Ukranian Jew sporting a long-time lived-in new wave look, maybe 25.

Sporty tells her lies about herself, too late! She'll tell the truth next time. Sporty Spice walks home alone.

Another night, an American girl, Sporty sees her off and on all day, a lovely girl, poetic without realizing it. At the end of the night the two stand together at the jukebox.

Sporty touches the girl's face, tries to find a new way to say "You're beautiful."

Sporty shivers with lust, walking home by herself.